ccdo's Blog

wow

Monday, November 9, 2009

ok so i got u  this morning feeling grand no problem to me

came down had my breakfast

took a valium and half hour later a borocca vitamin with caffiene to boost me up

did wonders and i feel like im on cloud nine 

im high as a kite 

this is great 

i know this feeling is false but i need this coz the last few days have been hell for me 

so i deserve a little bit of fake happiness to get me though the night peacfully without a bother

my family are happy that im happy 

but dont know how long that will last for 

im just hoping that when  i go home from work they wont affect the happiness im feeling now

if they do i just walk away and continue to enjoy the good day that has been offered to me 

so work is goin great got everythin done by deadline as usual no matter how im feeling i always achieve what i wanna achieve

my diet plan is workin which ill go more into detail in my goal journal

 thanks for readin and ill update on how im feeling later 

bye for now *hugs* 

Sunday, November 8, 2009

for some reason today was not as bad as yesterday. this morning my mum asked me how i was i said "how do u tink" i was depressed at the time

we went out for lunch together had our dinner  didnt go too well but didnt care everyone stayed quiet eatin. mmy mum slagged me on loosin weight my brother stepped in and said shut up and leave her alone and she did

came home nothin changed mood still on the low side from mum and dad so i just avoided and ignored their ignorance. went to the pub with my brother he didnt drink i had a vodka and coke after takin a valium to keep me calm for the day then we went to the cafe and had a cup of tea and a long chat. after that i went to buy cigerettes then went home and the first thin my dad said u were both very long we just both walked out

we went bout doin our own thing as usuaul my mum forcing me to eat again i said NO and made it clear u aint gonna force food in me anymore whether u like it or not. i told her that im loosing weight weather she liked it or not F**K her its my body not hers

so i ate nuts, an apple and cereal thats bout it i was starving but tomrrow gonna reduce food intake even more. then i went for a lovely long shower after that i cut a little just to keep the calmness in me for the night and i didnt cut bad which is a miracle but it gave me the buzz i needed

work tomrrow for a few hours so a break from the parents will be fantastic no listenin to their bullshit etc heheheheheehe 

so thats all for now *hugs* to all my EP friends :-) 

New start of extreme dieting hahahaha

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Age: 22

Height: 5 ft 1

Current Weight: 103lbs

BMI: 19.5

Goal Target: 

BMI: 15.9  - - - Weight: 84lbs 

The fun starts tomorrow taking serious action in gettin what i want this time and noone can stop me even if they tried f**k them.

if i dont follow these rules jesus ill be damned coz i need to be under 100lbs for my  brothers graduation on the 19th of November im desperate so im gonna do everythin in my power to succeed in which i tink i will knowning me im quite clever hahahahaha :D

1) Eat your breakfast. Now while eating your breakfast, eat as slowly as possible. Give an ample of time to your body to realize that it’s full.

2) Drink a lot of warm water as this will raise the metabolism of your body and help in burning out those excess fats from your body.

3) Always eat in small bites, cut your food into small pieces. Put down your fork after every bite. Pause in between to drink water; this will make the food to bloat.

4) Whenever you feel that you are craving for junk food or fatty food, count upto 100 when you are tempted to eat. It is important to follow a strict principle.

5) If you have to sit for long hours, don’t sit idle. Always do something like tapping your legs or fingers, stretching your legs, etc. Remember each calorie counts.

6) Whenever you eat always focus on eating a healthy food with fewer calories. Drinking water every hour will also help you in keeping your hunger away.

7) Eat only when you have to and avoid eating alone or watching television. Best is not to eat after 7 at night.

YAY!

Eating habits update

Saturday, November 7, 2009

had a fry for breakfast

had white fish when i came home from my autnies 

and just now im finished chicken fried rice

in a few hours when my stomach in empty ill weigh myself and see what the progess of whatever is 

if improved will reduce my intake even further till i get to what i want 

im a bit nervous bout what the scales will read hehehehe 

Breakfast cereal and a bit of toast

nothin to eat for hours 

came home had veg and chicken small amount of course

later on tonight im gonnna have chicken fried rice to reward me and hence eveyone is goin out except me and mum so i have the chance to eat somethin new 

ill weight myself tomorrow to see if any more progress is happening, it just takes time i suppose to see results 

Prescription Pills

Thursday, November 5, 2009 | A Venting story

prescription pills are so much better that OTC pills i should know. anytime i need a pill for whatever reason like acid in the stomach,nausea, pain etc i take only prescription pills

the reason being is that they are obviously stronger than the ones u get over the counter. Now i take nexium for the stomach, difene for pain, and any other that i can find that can help me cope with the syptoms im experiencing. 

today ive taken a nexium for my stomach its seems to do the trick for now. if not ill wait one day till eveyrone is out of the house and raid it and steal all their prescription pills that they have. the reason im doing it is that i cant afford medical care or doctor appoinments etc i only get 40 from the state in money and thats not enough

anyway the whole point is that they are strong for a reason hence why u cant buy them easily. if im still in pain but not to the point of needing prescription pills ill take an OTC pill to keep the syptoms at bay from bothering me especially during work and drinking sessions which i love to enjoy both to the full without it being interrupted coz my body is not well enough etc load of bullshit if u ask me 

the problem with this is that they can become addictive cause of the powerful effects it has so that what im slightly afraid of. sure if it happens it happens cant stop something like that without goin to rehab and im sure as hell not goin back there again 

thats all im sayin for now im out of words

Eating habits update :-)

Thursday, November 5, 2009 | A Positive story

had pasta before goin to work as it fills u like crazy for hours on end 

came home and had dinner but reduced the dinner by half or a little less and im full now 

what help all the time for me is drink two pints of water before eating and that will almost certainly reduce ur food intake 

i always make sure i actually eat somethin during the day coz nothin worse than havin an empty stomach and making noises and annoyin u 

i like to get my body to believe that im feedin it the right quantity of food but in fact im training my stomach to shrink to the point where ill eat less and less till i get to my target weight

anyway ill weigh myself on saturday and see whether im making progress in loosing a few more pounds if not ill have to think of something else but id say it is working cause it usually does no doubt i drop weight like crazy thanks to my fast matabolism 

hence when im out of bed and workin i can be very active in moving around and excercising through out the building in work as much as i can , i climb three flights of stairs many times a day so thats good hehehehe

ill update on how im doing again tomrrow after work 

bye for now

Whoo Hoo

Wednesday, November 4, 2009 | A Positive story

wow im so so happy

weighed myself on a complete empty stomach and naked (thats the proper way to weight urselves by the way if u want an accurate reading of ur weight loss)

anyway now im eatin dinner but small amounts to have food in my stomach cause if i starve myself ill only gain back my weight etc as when u dont eat your body feeds of its own fat and makes u gain weight as a result and we certainly dont want that if we are to succeed now do we?

i dont excercise ill admit to that but im not ashamed. its so easy to loose weight either way if u just put your mind to it 

ive a high metabolism so that helps too compared to people with low metabolism they need to excercise. i snack completely on fruit and thats all 

THE COMPLETE RESULT OF MY WEIGHT LOSS SINCE I STARTED THIS GOAL IS:

110 LBS DROPPED TO 104LBS IN JUST LESS THAN TWO WEEKS IM SO SO PROUD 

SO ILL WEIGH MYSELF IN ABOUT A FEW DAYS OTHER THAN THAT ILL KEEP POSTING WITH HOW IM DOING AND ETC 

Agony

Wednesday, November 4, 2009 | A Sad story

right ive had this bad back pain around the kidney area for a few days and it doesnt seem to be improving and now im gettin worried 

work was hard to do with this dull aching pain like someone is constantly punchin me all the time along with nausea and anxiety over it

have told my mum since it started and she said to give it another day to two see how things are instead of goin to the doctor and finding out there is nothing wrong 

ive hardly eaten since yesterday just one meal a day is all about that i can handle at the moment cause if i eat too much i just wanna get sick and feel sick all the time whichi dont thnk anyone likes to feel that way 

other than that work was busy which distracted me from me for the whole day a very good thing. came home went to sleep for bout an hour and rested and now just chilling out and relaxing and cant wait to go for a hot shower to relax me which works

i shower twice a day now used to be once but now ive become a little obsessed in keepin the way i look clean clean clean and nearly to perfection they way i wanna look for me and the way people see me in public says alot bout how i care bout myself and how i feel 

my family are doing well great form no worries bout anythin and we are enjoyin life to the full together as one big or small happy family 

now im waiting for my brother to come home from his college course which wont be till around 11pm so ive the night practically to myself to think and write my journal anytime i have something to say 

i really really really dont care if people dont read this its not for u its for me to vent my feelings ok? hence why i click view by me only ugh! 

anyway will update later if anythin new happens or comes up unexpectactly and of course so far so good i havent self harmed at all toaday which is great was tempted to do it during work but work was a priority not my cuttin so that worked for me 

i dont even have any urges now to do it either YAY! and i doubt very much i will have any later on cause im in enough pain with my back and possible kidneys its enough for anyone to deal with and im feeling like ive drank a whole bottle of vodka even tho i havent so cutitn tonight or when i till get better really is not gonna happen which is probably a good thing 

Bye for now and ill update later